im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
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