either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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