I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
