operation have a gay friend backfired
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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