my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
