I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
