i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
