Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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