if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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