If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
