..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Oh god it's open bar.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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