Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
