Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
