I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
