is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
The adults are the big ones right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
