brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
