White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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