But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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