How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
