He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize