I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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