the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
