Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
