this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
