I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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