It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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