Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
