12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
