i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
