he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You are a genius and a whore.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
