I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
