We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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