I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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