btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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