we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Randomize
