I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize