dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
