Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
