I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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