Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
