Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
