you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
