Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
