did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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