i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
