So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
