i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
