i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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