Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
