North Korea, Best Korea!
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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