I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
