I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
