Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
