don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize