we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So apparently I’m into choking now
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
