There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
