just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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